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Obama Candle

Regular price $22.00


Q: Is he single?

A: No.

Q: Can I have his number? I promise I won't call him, I just need it for my files.

A: No.

Q: Can't we just swap him for the current president?

A: People always talk about how prescient the framers of the Constitution were, but no, we cannot.

Q: If I put in headphones and listen to him saying "yes we can" over and over again on a loop, does it count as cheating?

A: Every relationship is different, but they all have a little room for Barack Obama.

Q: Where does he rank among 21st-century presidents?

A: First. But honestly, that's not saying a lot.

Q: Did he really deserve the Nobel Peace Prize?

A: We'll just say this: he deserved it more than Woodrow Wilson did.

Q: How can I travel back in time and tell myself not to take him for granted?

A: Wormhole. Your best bet is a wormhole in space.