Your long search is finally over. You have found a Joe Biden-Scented Candle. Now the only thing standing between you and Joe Biden is...well, basically all the same stuff as before. But at least now you have this great candle!
The Joe Biden-Scented Candle is more than just a candle that vaguely resembles Joe Biden. It's also a friend, a confidante (at least as much as any other inanimate object), and a mentor (if you're trying to be a candle). You'll feel your hope and optimism being restored as you lift the lid and inhale the aroma of Biden's favorite orange-flavored sports drink. (We won't mention the brand name, but see if you can guess! Here's a hint: It's not Powerade.)
You can even pay homage to Biden's love of Amtrak by bringing it along on your next train ride! Trust us when we say that nothing is a bigger hit on trains than a lit candle*